music, movies, and the Creator

I am off work today thanks to Christopher Columbus. I'm celebrating by watching movies and fiddling with my guitar. Also I'm consuming much Dunkin Donuts coffee which will inevitably lead to a violent crash later.

Lately I've been writing a lot about music, and I'm sorry if that's boring...but it is almost like I'm living a dream of sorts. Anyway, the SMASH Band has been getting a lot of opportunities to play at different events lately. Last Tuesday night we played my old high school's beauty pageant (random, huh?) and it was really fun. It's odd because we play Christian praise music and yet we were still invited. Different people came up to me and the others (Lena, Corey, and Hayley) and gave us many compliments. That was nice, but it was a blessing to even be able to play in such a public place. We didn't just do praise though...we played a Tom Petty song, too.

This past week a few more "gigs" have opened up, including a Halloween thing and next year's homecoming at church. Then last night a friend IMed me about playing at a coffee house in the next couple months. I'm trying to find a good assortment of music before I take on this challenge. I'd actually love some input of good acoustic style songs if you have any suggestions.

Anyway, spiritually the last few months I have been somewhat in limbo. I have very strong faith one day, muted faith the next. It's annoying. But I'm bombarded with such negative vibes from most of America regarding Christianity that it's sometimes hard to not start questioning. The more I read and hear people's thoughts, or see my Christian brothers and sisters (inadvertantly or otherwise) making us look ridiculous, the less faith I have.

But something occurred to me today while watching "Love and Death" (a Woody Allen movie, not especially profound but somewhat helpful in this season of my life). There are a few different discussions between Allen's and Diane Keaton's characters about whether or not God actually exists. These are funny moments, but no conclusive answers are given. At one point an angel appears to Allen and tells him something that absolutely does not happen. A "sign" that he's been looking for the entire movie. Yet even after his death, he doesn't denounce God, just calls him an "underachiever". Well, maybe that IS denouncement after all. Anyway, I loved the movie but my mind started churning up a pretty nice thought after it was over, which was also comforting.

I disagree with Allen's character, I think that God is the greatest achiever. I believe in Him being just, and in the fact that He loves us enough to let us make our own decisions. Does He know what we're going to do? From what I've read and understand, yes...but doesn't it take real love to allow someone to do what they please rather than force them into something? Yes He commands us to worship Him and to follow certain moral guidelines...but those are for our own good. Whose life isn't better because of not murdering someone? Whose life hasn't benefited from peaceful living, from giving to the needy? I believe in blessings. I believe in "doing unto others...". And going back to not forcing us to do things...I should clarify something. God has made situations in my life where I didn't have much of a choice but to follow His directions. But I still HAD a choice, just not much of one. But I don't want to disobey, I'd rather do my best for His work. However if others would like to do otherwise, that option is there. I think about Jonah, running and running and constantly tripping up before finally submitting. But it's also possible that after all his ordeals, he could have still run away from what God wanted.

Anyway, I hope that made sense. I have just been thinking a lot lately. And this conclusion I've come to seems profound to me, and makes me a little more hopeful.

Oh yeah, I wanted to bring something else up. Who else thinks the title "God" just isn't big enough? I feel like that name has been used and abused so much that a lot of the meaning has gone away. Plus when I hear these fake preachers on TV (or in real life) use it, I cringe. "Gawwwwddd!". Same for Jesus. "Jaysussss!". Does anyone else cringe at that?

It feels good to blog again. Until next time...