my musical evolution

It's no big secret that I love music. Around age 15 I learned to appreciate music as more than just sounds in the background of my day to day life. Still, I never fully understood the complexities of actually creating music. I knew that music (done correctly) sounded great, and for years people had been perfecting the craft. A few years later I decided I wanted to join in.

However, as teenagers often do, I became very enthusiastic and then apathetic extremely quickly. I took guitar lessons and soon after they just stopped. Partially because my guitar teacher stopped giving lessons and partially because I discovered girls. But the love for music never ceased. I would dream of playing music that would touch people and those dreams continued for years.

As I entered college and then afterward the working world, I grew farther apart from music. No longer was it something tangible; rather it was an enjoyable escape from a long busy day. But something changed...

I got a new job back home in March of 2006. I started going back to my old church. Not long after re-emerging there, I was asked by two wonderful people to join their youth ministry team. I started teaching occasionally and mentoring, which was great. It kept me very busy. But all along I felt a call for something else. I wasn't sure of what it was, although it should have been very clear to me all along.

After a couple years of working with teenagers and attending camps with them, the thought was brought up by someone else to start a band for our Wednesday night services. I won't lie to you, I wasn't sold on the idea at first. I've seen plenty of bad bands and assumed I'd only become part of one. The idea left and I went along with life.

The next year (2008) we attended another camp where the idea was brought up once again. I was asked to spearhead it. At this point I hadn't touched an instrument in years, and had never sung in public (save one time, which was an extreme embarrassment). To say I was less than enthusiastic would be a safe statement. However, I felt the calling which I know as the Spirit telling me to try. I picked up my old beat up Ovation acoustic guitar and tried to play the few chords I remembered. I was horrible. A youth (who would later become a youth worker) who plays drums pushed me, though, and we tried some songs. Nothing. I was terrible. But I still felt the call. I bought a DVD by Jean Welles which refreshed my memory and greatly helped me to improve. Songs I remembered from my youth popped into my head and I got excited!

Months went by and the vision expanded. We started a band and began inviting the youth who were musically inclined to join in. It became a very free thing...a band where anyone was welcome to come and play and, to be Biblically cliche, make a joyful noise. In the meantime, I found my style. I found my voice. I got enthusiastic!

A year later, the music ministry I am blessed to be a part of has gotten much bigger. We've been invited to play special events at church. Lena (part of the ministry team along with her husband, Blaine) and I have been invited to a few different churches to play at events and services. Our band, the SMASH Band (named from our ministry, Student Ministries at Spring Hill) has been invited to play and share in the next two weeks, not counting our Wednesday night services.

Through all this, though, I realize that it has nothing to do with me. I was the doubting one. This ministry would exist with or without me. But I'm happy that God will continue to push and not give up as easily as we (I) may. It's been a blessing for me personally and my dreams are becoming real, even if no one realizes it.