dealing with it

If you want some good reading, check this blog out. It's my brother, who is currently going through some chemotherapy for some cancer I alluded to months ago. He just started and is chronicling the experience, which I think is a great idea. But then again I love to write.

Although that doesn't seem to be true, does it? At least not here lately. I've sort of got a full plate to deal with, what with leading the youth band on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, squeezing in some fun musical sessions with my friend Steven on Thursdays, attempting a social life on weekends, and serving as a deacon at church. Oh and having a day job. Can't forget that one.

Also here lately I feel as if I am even more thrust into the role of peacemaker/peacekeeper with people at work/church. It's a hard role to fill, to be honest, and is very taxing. Why can't everyone just chill? Life is too short to be upset all the time.

However I wasn't "chill" for a while. I was in a pretty bitter mood toward God after learning of Ben's cancer. It didn't (and doesn't) make much sense to me, but eventually I realized that a lot of things don't make sense. All I can do is support and help any way I can, and blaming a supernatural being for a problem seems like a pretty archaic way of thinking. I have friends who have given me advice/scripture and of course He has shown Himself through various methods (usually other people at the right times...not coincidence) as He usually does.

But feeling helpless has renewed my faith, in a way. I am more prone to trust rather than panic. That's a nice feeling, too.

In closing, I will try and write more in the future. In the meantime, read what Ben has to say. It's pretty funny and very real.